5 OBSERVATIONS ON PLAYFUL TEASING

One of the things that I find myself saying quite often is, “if I don’t make fun of you it’s probably because I don’t like you.” I’ve said this statement for years now.

Friends playfully tease each other all of the time and teasing isn't inherently bad nor should it be a complete 'no no' in friendships. It's not always black and white. Every person has their quirks or certain mannerisms that are easy to poke fun at. And it’s true.... sometimes it can be fun, but not usually for the one being teased.

With that being said, it’s human nature to laugh at and with our friends. It’s one way that we relate to one another; however, the line between fun and too far is a thin as it gets. Playful teasing can really be fun if everyone is getting an equal dosage of the teasing pie, but the reality of this happening 100 percent of the time is slim to none.

Over the past year I’ve made some observations about playful teasing:

1.     Just because someone says that it doesn’t bother them, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t bother them!

2.     Teasing is often times birthed from insecurities within the person doing the teasing.

3.     It’s difficult to know the insecurities of others. Because of this, teasing can magnify the insecurities and break down one’s self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-worth.

4.     It’s unfair when you make fun of something that is out of that person’s control. ex) looks, disabilities, families, etc.

5.     Typically, the person who is teased the most develops a propensity to turn and tease others (sometimes in a more severe manner).

So what’s the solution?

Ask the question “Will this build them up?” not “Will this hurt their feelings.”
In Ephesians 4:29, Paul says, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” If the words we speak don’t build up others, then we shouldn’t say them. Far too often we ask how close can we get to offending someone without actually offending them, instead of asking how we might encourage and build them up.

If you use one friend as the group punching bag, STOP.
This is self-explanatory. I’ve been both the victim of this and the offender. 

Feel like the damage has already been done? Apologize
If, while reading this, you’ve had a person or two in mind whom you’ve wronged or picked on a little too much, apologize to them. Send them a text or give them a call. Let them know that you love them and encourage them in some way, shape or form.

Don’t believe the lie that you can be mean to those who are closest to you, because if you do, they won’t be close to you for long.