Grieving Loss
John Osborne
All of us have experienced some sort of loss before. Whether it be the loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, the loss of control or freedoms, we’ve all been there. How does one handle it? Some loss is easy to face, adapt to or make whatever changes necessary. Yet there are other times we face loss, and it seems to affect whether or not we can properly navigate, concentrate or even function throughout the day.
Have you ever wished you could go to bed, wake up and everything would be back to the way you remember it? Are there secrets to how we can handle loss? Are there steps we can take that can make it easier? I wish I could write this apart from personal experience, but that is not the case. Allow me to touch on a couple of principles that I have had to put into practice.
1 – Emotions are not your enemy. We are human and we cannot escape the reality that when we go through loss it affects us. From being sad to being mad there’s a whole array of emotions that one can face. I have enjoyed singing the scriptural song from Psalm 34:18, with the phrase, “God is close to the brokenhearted.” I am also reminded that to be angry is not sinful. It is ok to get mad. It is what we do with that anger that can sometimes get us into trouble. Paul writes in Ephesians 4:26, “In your anger do not sin.”
2 – Take it all to Jesus. Whether it is the emotions of the situation, the questions that need answers as a result of the loss, or the fears that can rise up, no one is better to help us cope with it all than Jesus. We are encouraged to cast all of our cares and anxieties on Him (I Peter 5:7). One of the things that can happen as we navigate both the present and the future as a result of loss is the struggle to sleep. Our minds can wander, while our hearts grow heavy and sleep can elude us. I have found great benefit in talking to the Lord out loud about it all. We’re told by Jesus himself in Matthew 11:28, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
3 – Worship Anyway. Whether we feel like it or not, God is still worthy of all of our worship. Sometimes we can know that, but to outwardly express it is so hard. Another tip that I can share from personal experience is the value of finding a worship song or two that can encourage me as I simply pray, cry out, or even sit numb in the presence of God. I may listen to the same song over and over, but I allow God to speak to me, to minister and encourage me.
4 – Finally, find yourself in God’s Word. There’s so much value in reading the cries of David in the book of Psalms, or of how God comes through for people like Joseph, Gideon, or Esther in the Old Testament. In the New Testament one can read of the hope that we have in Jesus and be reminded of the truth that Paul writes about in 2 Corinthians 4:17, “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” There have been days in my life when I have not had an interest in reading God’s Word, but if I make my body and mind submit to doing it, I have walked away being grateful that I did.
May you be encouraged by God today! If you happen to be struggling with loss or know of someone that is, know that the love of God can meet each one of us where we are.