Stop Avoiding God

Jordan McKinney

I have been thinking about one of the big moments for me and my walk with God in the past couple months a lot. I have been part of a group that meets once a week and we are committed to reading scripture, reading books, and spending time meditating and listening to God speak to us through quiet reflection. Well over the course of the month of November I was sick for 3 weeks and spent one week at my parents for Thanksgiving with 30 other family members. Needless to say I fell out of the habit of reading and especially meditating. After the holiday I was able to finally settle back into routine again. I caught back up on Scripture reading and reading my book, but I never seemed to have time for prayer.

One night as I was about to start my devotional time, God spoke to me and was asking “why are you afraid and avoiding spending time with me?” I realized I had been afraid the past week to spend quiet time and be in that close intimate space with God. I didn’t think that I was afraid but I began to look back on the past week after getting home. I realized that I had been avoiding prayer time with “good” things. My wife wanted to watch a movie so I would spend extra time with her. I felt I needed to unwind after a hard day's work so I would play games online with friends. In and of themselves these things aren’t bad (especially spending time with my wife) but I was using those things as excuses because I was afraid. I thought that if I spent time with God I would feel shame for having been so long since I prayed and spent time with him. I didn’t want to “get in trouble” with God, so I avoided it. I kept up reading my Bible and the books we were reading because that was easy. I didn’t feel exposed and vulnerable with God when I could engage those things intellectually and detached from my emotions.

What God spoke to me that night as I began to pray whas that He has nothing but love for me. There is never shame to go to Him because His perfect love casts out all fear. Before I could even form His name on my lips, in my deepest sin, in my full depravity, He loved me and died for me. There was nothing that could separate me from the love of the Father.

There is no need for shame or fear when it comes to God. He loved us in our worst moments and far before we ever loved Him. I don’t know if you have been experiencing any fear or a feeling of shame for what you have or haven’t done, but those things don’t come from God. God wants and desires to have that interment time. It brings Him joy when we meet him in the quiet places and get to spend quality alone time with Him. So why wait? Go spend time with the God that loves you more than you could understand or even imagine!