Overcome Grumbling

Chad Reaves

I can recall countless moments in my life where I chose to be a complainer rather than an encourager. This is something I have struggled with in my adult years, this constant attitude of a grumbler. It has affected friendships, family relationships, and my marriage. My heart started to become hard and bitter, with my words becoming sharp towards others. This was not always the case though. I was not a person that grumbled often in my younger years. I would often encourage others and lift people up in hard times rather than jump in and complain with them. My wife really started to recognize this shift, and in her sweet loving way encouraged me to seek counseling. This had a huge impact on my life and revealed the hurt that was causing this attitude of a grumbler. I had started to lose hope in relationships and my outlook on the future had become grim. So I began the process of becoming a light rather than a cloud of negativity.

The essential piece we need to navigate this is Philippians 2:14-15: “Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world.” Right before this, Paul writes about humility and not just focusing on self interest, but also focusing on the interests of others (v. 3-4). So when Paul says, “Do all things without grumbling or disputing” in v.15, I started to see the root of grumbling. Grumbling is a way of the flesh, the response of fear, the response of our sinful nature, and, ultimately, grumbling is stemmed out of darkness. Because when we take what Paul says seriously, doing all things without grumbling, we will be “blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world” (v.15). 

We can all picture a grumbler that we know. It could be someone in our workplace, neighborhood, or family. No matter where you encounter grumbling, it is like black ink leaking onto white linen. It will spread and stain its surroundings, but we are called to be a light; the bleach that overcomes the black ink. We need to ask God to reveal the root of our complaints and grumbling in order to overcome them. For me personally, my root of grumbling was fear of not being known. I was fearful that if people didn’t know my woes and irritations, they would not know the struggles I was going through and in response I would try to place those struggles on them. This reflection on Philippians 2 showed me that what comes out of my mouth, that is where my desire is also. Whether I grumble about minor things (weather, traffic, and minor inconveniences) or major things (relationships, life circumstances, and suffering), I am relaying that my desire is focused on self rather than focus on the kingdom of God. What comes out of my mouth when things don’t go my way indicates whose kingdom I serve. 

This may seem like a small issue in the grand scheme of all things when it comes to building up God's kingdom, but when we look at the words of Paul and the root of grumbling, I believe it becomes a foundational building block. When we seek humility rather than recognition through our grumbling, we open up space for God’s light to shine in the darkness of the world. The warning of grumbling in Philippians is not meant to be passed by without reflection and prayer. As I began the process of overcoming this dark cloud of grumbling, my encouragement to everyone is to allow the Holy Spirit to reveal spots of grumbling in your lives daily. As it takes a community to complain and grumble, it also takes a community to overcome it.