Be the Calm in the Chaos

Emily Neely - Weekend Volunteer Coordinator

Chaos comes in many different forms; usually the chaos is defined differently for every person. However, this recent season has brought about a new, unified chaos. We are all dealing with our own emotions and reactions to the current pandemic around us. Our kids have to cope with so much lately and most will have a hard time putting their feelings into words. My kids have been enjoying most of the at-home time, but they can tell when my husband and I are worried or stressed and this manifests in different ways for our children. We’ve had increased drama and attitude from our 7-year-old, bursts of anger from our 4-year-old, and a frequent “I don’t like you mommy” from our 2-year-old. How on Earth are we supposed to parent and hold it all together when there is so much uncertainty going on around us?

One of my favorite parenting quotes is from L.R. Knost, “When little people are overwhelmed by big emotions, it’s our job to share our calm, not join in their chaos.” Big emotions in children are simply them trying to deal with the world around. Instead of denying our kids their opportunity to express themselves with emotions, it’s important to equip them with tools to overcome/deal with those feelings. Some of the tools we use are deep breathing, and creating a safe space for big emotions: a punching bag, books, and a cozy blanket or stuffy. Pinterest also has some great ideas!

In order to share my calm with my kids, I need to be calm and not answer their own big emotions with an outburst on my part. When I stay on a level that shows I am confident and in control in a situation, it helps my children to better express how they are feeling. I love Mark 4:35-39 when Jesus calmed the storm in the boat with his disciples. Some of these men were fishermen and had probably been in some crazy storms. They were scared for their lives in this one so it must have been pretty bad! Jesus was sleeping in the boat when the disciples frantically woke him. He didn’t panic and scream back at them, he didn’t get angry or shame them. He got up and spoke to the wind and the waves. Jesus knew the solution in the midst of the storm wasn’t to try and talk sense into the disciples, he needed to take charge and be the calm in their storm. After Jesus calmed the storm he asked them, “Do you still have no faith?” Jesus waited until the time was right to talk to the disciples about their lack of faith. Jesus gave his disciples grace even though they could have taken on the responsibility of the storm themselves.

This season is a great reminder to lean into God’s grace. It is my responsibility as a parent to teach my kids to cope with chaos and show them God’s grace in every situation. John 1:16 says, “Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given.” Have grace for yourself, have grace for your spouse, have grace for your kids. God already has given his grace to you.