From Despair to Delight
In the last 18 months or so I had a 4-month window of feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and borderline depressed. This began, I think, with an extended season of physical health challenges that led to medications, procedures and some mild depression. This, combined with a heavy load of responsibilities and working on a Masters program, and some poor energy management on my part, led to what I now see clearly in hindsight as a perfect storm.
Six months ago, or so, was the bottom of this cycle and the Lord has been gracious to hear my cries, align me with people and resources through which He has spoken to me, and teach me a new way of life that is lived in and through His Presence and power. I have seen a transformation and am now in my fourth month of pure delight, both with ministry and with my life.
If you identify with this, I want to encourage you to reach out and talk to someone. God did not make us to journey our lives alone, nor only with Him - we are made for community! Here is the outcome I have experienced, and I hope for you.
The Transformation to Delight
My transformation was almost overnight. I have returned to the passionate and life-giving walk with Jesus I had as a new Christian and I am loving doing ministry in a whole new way. It feels really silly, what I’m about to say, but it has changed everything for me.
I have embraced the lifestyle of Altar and Stewardship: private health and public fruitfulness. Spending extended time alone with God for communion, consecration and commission before living every arena of my life on mission with God. Receiving FROM God and then living FOR God.
Simply put, I have added some practices that fuel my new perspective. The new perspective is a return to the simplicity of living for God, with God. Of recognizing His Presence with me always and leaning into Him for supernatural help and provision.
Here are the three practices I’m enjoying most:
Concentrated time alone with God. No watch, no phone, no computers, no people, and no distractions. I set a timer so I can get lost and not worry about the clock, without worrying I’ll be late to my next scheduled thing. I do this in the morning. I do it in the afternoon at times, in my office. I do it at night. I realized that I had let myself off the hook for this because I talk to God all day, throughout the day, enjoying an on-going conversation. But that is not the same as focused alone time with Him and I had forgotten how powerful that is. I write in a journal. I read the Word. I pray in the Spirit and with understanding. I listen. I seek communion with God, consecration toward Christ-likeness, and commission for living intentionally for Him.
Relying on revelation and inspiration from God on an as-needed basis. Jesus promised the disciples that they would be brought in front of powerful people and that they need not be afraid. The Holy Spirit would give them the words to say in real time. It caused me to wonder if this is how we are invited to live all of life. My pattern is to refuse to worry and stress, but instead to count on divine revelation in real time. It is changing everything for me and He has yet to let me down. This does not excuse or reduce my personal preparation and study, but I rely on the Lord to guide and use that with revelation from Him at the moment a decision or action is needed.
Being Present in the Moment. I have sucked at this forever - always using this moment to worry about and look ahead to the next moment. Always feeling stressed for time or feeling anxious that my day or life was going to run off without me. I didn’t enjoy people, family, golf,or almost anything. I now force myself to stay in the moment - every moment - and focus. Look people in the eye. Refuse to look at my phone. Listen better. Quit hurrying. Rest in confident peace that God is sovereignty ordering my steps. It has changed everything.
I am delighting myself in the Lord and He is giving me the desires of my heart. I don’t know why this breakthrough has come now, when I have spent so much time and effort trying to figure this out, but I am loving it and would love for you to experience it, too!