I Will Not Believe

Jalee Rice

John 20:26

26 A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!”

Doubt can sneak up on us at the most difficult times in our faith journey. Just as Thomas, one of the original twelve, had walked alongside Jesus, seeing his miracles, and was ready, himself, to die for the sake of Christ, we are not immune to the enticement of doubt.

After Jesus’ departure, Thomas found himself in a place of outright disbelief. While the others were exclaiming, “We have seen the Lord!” doubting Thomas was drawing a line in the sand.  “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.”

Maybe you read this today and you remember the miracles that you have witnessed.

The mountain that he moved.

The ways he paved where none existed.

The provisions.

The job opportunity. 

The dreams he sent as you slept.

And somehow, his seeming absence in your life has allowed a seed of doubt in your own heart. As I'm writing this, I am deeply aware of some of your faces. Life has thrown trauma, disease, loss, and profound heartache in your path. You would find yourself uttering the same to Jesus, “Unless I see and feel, I will not believe.”

 We lock the doors to our heart in an effort to keep Jesus (and others) out. Yet, in his Goodness, Jesus walks right in, often uninvited. He stands among us, and offers his peace. “Peace be with you” here is defined as “the tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and content with its early lot, of whatsoever sort that is.” (Thayer’s Greek Lexicon) In our despair, Jesus offers his peace to our soul.

“Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.” The offer remains. Jesus invites us to reach out to him, the Suffering Savior, to see and feel his wounds in order that we may stop doubting and believe. In the midst of our doubt we can reach out to see and feel him again.