A Change in Perspective

John Osborne

It is interesting to see how one’s perspective changes as we grow older and hopefully mature.

I can remember growing up with some of the boundaries my parents established and some of the expectations they had of myself and my siblings.  I can remember having a curfew and needing to report to my parents about where I was going and who I was going with.  Sometimes I didn’t mind their rules, and yet there were times I thought they were a bit too restrictive and overbearing.

When I started having kids, I found that I followed along similar patterns that my parents had modeled.  I saw the importance of establishing rules and boundaries for my kids. When they were younger, guidelines such as “don’t touch the stove,” or “look both ways before you cross the street,” were easier to declare than others. But as the kids grew older, formulating house rules and expectations became more challenging.  Our kids’ peers didn’t always have the same rules, which often complicated matters.

Here is where my perspective really changed!

It became apparent to me that the real issue was the steering and forming of the hearts of our kids.  If the hearts of our kids would be soft, tender, and teachable we didn’t have to worry as much about having rules, restrictions, and boundaries.  If our kids would desire to do what was right - not based upon what we as parents had to say, but based upon their relationship with God - life would be so much easier.  It really did come down to their relationships with God.

I am reminded of a saying that Josh McDowell used years ago: “Rules without Relationship lead to Rebellion.”  He said this as it pertained to parents and their kids, but I have come to believe that it also translates to our relationship with God.  This is why the condition of our hearts is so important.  Proverbs 4:23 puts it this way:

“Above all else, guard your heart,
    for everything you do flows from it.”

If we can have a soft and tender heart towards God, the need for a list of rules is nearly eliminated.  That holds true no matter how old you and I may be, which gives cause to why God is always desirous to work in our hearts.